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MY FIRST DVD IS NOW AVAILABLE IN EUROPE

Howsitgarn European fans? You can now buy my DVD in the following countries: the United Kingdom, Eire, Finland, Norway, Denmark, Sweden, Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg

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My new DVD - Walking Down The Street

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Frogs

They never really looked stressed out, they never really look anything - I would hate to play poker with a frog - they would give nothing away.

They are not normal creatures - they are in the top bracket of creatures — you never see a frog walking, it’s always jumping...
Jumping makes it weird

The lady lays a million eggs or something like that when she’s pregnant — that is a lot of eggs... too many I would say, not to her face though... inappropriate, plus I don’t speak frog...

They sit then they suddenly jump.
They are not like flies that piss off as soon as you come in the room, they hang around, check things out first... so I think frogs are more open to possibility or conversation... they may want to connect with us.

What would I say to a frog anyway...? What sort of conversation would you have with a frog if you could...?
Myself, I can’t ever imagine a frog starting a round of talks... what would it say... when was the last time you heard yourself say: ‘God does that frog ever shut up?’

I might ask it if it has ever played cards - would love to see a picture of a frog with dark glasses trying to conceal emotion it might not even have, carefully lifting the corner of it’s dealt hand so no else at the table could see... when was the last time you heard yourself say: ‘God that frog’s a bit emotional.’

The most interesting thing about a frog is that I know nothing about them except that many of them are green, eat flies; not sure how, they leave as soon as you rock up... also they jump which is just weird, even for a creature... why jump, I’m not a biologist or anything but there is probably no need to jump everywhere... it seems a bit neurotic, they don’t look neurotic to me just a little disassociated...

I want to see a walking frog... just once,

Must be hard anyway... jumping all the time...
And chewing...

I don’t ever remember seeing a frog with teeth... a frog that flosses at night; there must be one frog that flosses...? imagine that little frog trying to pick out the best brand in Woolies knowing that there are so many to choose from...
‘When did you last hear a frog comment: ‘There are too many different kinds of dental floss these days, shit I just want to buy some normal floss and get the hell out of here.’

Interesting little creatures... I want to get inside the mind of a frog...